Rules for Being Human
by Linzerj
Summary: Most ghosts were once human. The rules of humanity can still be applied.
1. Body

So in health class, we were talking about different types of wellness and the teacher hands out a sheet, and on the back is this interesting little list called "Rules for Being Human." Reading through it, I couldn't help but think of some of the Danny Phantom ghosts, and somehow this was born.

I have it set as 2 ghosts for each rule, because with some I wanted to do more than one ghost and also these are a lot shorter on this site than on Microsoft word...so...yeah. Ghosts featured will be (in no particular order) Skulker, Spectra, Box Ghost, Ember, Technus, Sidney Poindexter, Johnny 13, Kitty, Desiree, Walker, Dora, Dan, Vlad, Danielle, Danny, Clockwork, and Ghostwriter. Some will be repeated too, because I couldn't figure out where I wanted Lunch Lady, Lydia, and Fright Knight.

Enjoy~

* * *

_**Rules for Being Human**_

_Most ghosts were once human. The rules of humanity can still be applied._

_**1: Body**_

_You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around._

Skulker hated his body.

He was a hunter, and when he was alive he was proud of his strength and handsomeness. Now he was reduced to…to…to _this._ How was he supposed to hunt or be taken seriously now?

Perhaps, he mused, he could make some sort of…armor. Yes, armor would do nicely – armor that made him bigger, stronger, faster.

So he found a way to build this body for himself some years after he first entered the Ghost Zone. It was big and rickety but it was better than nothing, offering him some protection and comfort. As the technology of the world – human and ghost – advanced, so he upgraded his suit.

He might be a tiny green blob of ectoplasmic energy forever, but the suit made his afterlife so much better.

* * *

At first Spectra loved her new body. That lasted for about five minutes.

She found that her form would quickly age without some source of fuel, power, nourishment… nourishment that came from the misery of anything, living or dead.

No matter. She found herself an assistant in Bertrand and set about creating misery and despair wherever she went, so that later she could return and feed on it and stay young and beautiful for forever.

Her body came with a price, but it was worth it.


	2. School

**_Rules for Being Human_**

_Most ghosts were once human. The rules of humanity can still be applied._

**_2: School_**

_You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full time informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid._

Sidney Poindexter had not minded school when he was alive. Aside from the bullying, he'd actually come to appreciate – even _like_ – school.

He didn't like being trapped in a black-and-white ghostly version of Casper High for the rest of his afterlife – for all eternity.

As he stumbled through the repetitive life day after day, he wondered what lesson he was supposed to be learning. Even after "defeating" the halfa, things had returned to their ghastly normalcy. He hated it. He didn't understand. Was the lesson to let go of his obsession, perhaps?

He'd done that, though. Hadn't he?

…Perhaps not. Maybe that was what he was supposed to do.

The Ghost King's army destroying the school was a good enough incentive to start trying, at least.

* * *

The Ghost Writer always wove morals into his stories. Lessons to be learned. Never did he have any evil intent.

(Alright, so the Christmas poem was a _bit_ overboard. So sue him. He was dishing out lessons and revenge at the same time – he was allowed to be extreme sometimes.)

When he focused his stories on actual people, when he went about manipulating reality for his novels and poems, he always had a lesson in mind. He was still learning, too, but he felt he should instill some of what he had already learned into the minds of the ignorant, disrespectful, sometimes downright maleficent humans.

After all, that's how it was supposed to be – learn new lessons every day in this never-ending school called _life_.


	3. Mistakes

Honestly I've never recieved three reviews on a story in a matter of hours of posting, not to mention a few follows and favs. Thanks to MsFrizzle, UltraRecycloVegetarian, and a Guest for reviewing!

In response to your question, Guest, I made these as long as I could. I've already got all ten chapters written, and I am going over and trying to add in places, but these are only meant to be quick drabbles into the minds of the ghosts and halfas we know and love. ...Sorry if that's disappointing or anything.

Oh, and I almost forgot: Disclaimer: I am not Butch Hartman, therefore I do not own Danny Phantom.

* * *

**_Rules for Being Human_**

_Most ghosts were once human. The rules of humanity can still be applied._

**_3: Mistakes_**

_There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error, experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately work._

In life, Nikolai Technus had been a great scientist. He was familiar with experimentation, trial and error, failure and failure until success was finally achieved.

It'd been how he'd died. A mistake – _no_. A lesson gone wrong.

In his afterlife he tried to incorporate his failures into something that he could use as a springing board – something to reflect upon for future experiments.

He'd lost himself in his work. He got frustrated when he failed.

But he kept experimenting, because this was part of him and he knew that nothing in life was a mistake, just another lesson to learn from – and darn it he was going to learn until he faded into nothingness.

* * *

Every step of her music career had been about growth. She tried country, she tried rap, she tried almost every style before settling on her strange pop/punk/rock blend.

Ember was familiar with mistakes. She took them in stride and learned from what she did wrong. She made herself better.

Unfortunately, sometimes she would forget that failure is part of life – and of the afterlife too.

It is best to stay away from an upset Ember.

Danny Phantom was a thorn in every ghost's side, but really he was doing them a favor. Phantom's interferences allowed for the ghosts to see where there mistakes were, why they were failing, and how to beat the young halfa who wanted to play superhero.

She could respect that he, too, was growing and learning and failing (and repeat), but she was growing too. Maybe someday she'd grow faster; maybe someday she'd win.


	4. Repeat

**_Rules for Being Human_**

_Most ghosts were once human. The rules of humanity can still be applied._

**_4: Repeat_**

_A lesson is repeated until it is learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson._

He was Master of Time. He was never human. He was eternal. He just was.

Clockwork looked upon normal ghosts and mortals alike with the knowledge of who they were and what had happened and what they will become; after all, he sees the parade from above. He knows everything.

But he has a knack for keeping time in such a delicate state of balance that he sometimes needs to interfere to make sure it stays on its path – or to teach someone a lesson.

He'd tried teaching Pariah Dark of his errors before it was too late. It had backfired, and he'd joined five other Ancients in a last-ditch effort to defeat the king. (He'd known it would work, of course. He just wasn't too enthusiastic about it.)

After that, Clockwork had taken a break from mortals. They were too stressful to manage sometimes. After all, he only needed to keep the timeline from falling apart. He could do that from a distance.

The halfa Danny Fenton, aka Danny Phantom, had roped him back into interfering. (He wasn't sorry.)

Danny was in need of lesson learning, and Clockwork was only too happy to oblige – despite the teen not knowing what he needed. He'd guide the boy through turmoil, and steer him on the right path. He'd make similar mistakes all too often – but it was because he would forget his lessons sometimes. When that happened, Clockwork only needed to present the lesson to the boy in another form. Danny would figure it out eventually, and be able to go on.

Humans. Constantly learning. But not always quite understanding. (Ah well, just another lesson to try and impose upon them.)

* * *

Walker did not like rule breakers. He especially did not like repeat offenders. He was the prison warden, the judge, jury, and executioner when needed; while he enjoyed his job, he wanted to make sure his rules instilled _some_ sense of fear with these maggots.

So he'd go easy on punks, especially the new ghosts or the harmless ones. He'd give them new sentences, give them different punishments, all in the name of keeping order.

Eventually they'd learn. Eventually they'd stop. It took a long time – it could take millennia – but it left him…satisfied when a rule-breaker stopped and learned that they were wrong.

Of course, sometimes they'd go and break another rule. Then the cycle would have to be repeated all over again.

What Walker didn't acknowledge was that this was all one big lesson for him: cruelty gets you nowhere, kindness gets you everything.

Maybe he'd learn it, someday.


	5. End

**_Rules for Being Human_**

_Most ghosts were once human. The rules of humanity can still be applied._

**_5: End_**

_Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive then there are lessons to be learned._

Vlad was still alive (technically).

Vlad was still learning lessons.

…It wasn't all that great, honestly.

After the accident, he began noticing…ghostlike things going on. He would suddenly turn invisible, or begin sinking through solid objects, or start to float up toward the ceiling. It wasn't until a few months afterward when he first transformed into his ghost half and realized the _possibilities_.

He experimented with what he could do, and mastered all his powers over the next twenty years. For the last seven years he hadn't gotten any new powers, but he figured that could change at any moment.

If he was granted new powers, he needed to be ready.

He took everything in stride, kept up his practices, continued scheming to climb higher and higher in power. Perhaps the one lesson he never really learned was that you can't always get what you want; still no Packers, still no Maddie, and now, no Danny.

That was a lesson he'd need to learn. (He'd figured out that power was nice, but it wasn't the _obsession_ his ghost half possessed; no, his obsession was to have someone by his side who loved him and accepted him. At this point he'd settle for any human being, but Maddie, Danny, and Jazz were still his top three choices. Jack…ah, well, some things are much harder to forgive than others. But he needed to learn to forgive. Another lesson for him to accomplish.)

He'd keep learning until the day he fully died, he realized.

Or, maybe, if he couldn't die…he'd just have to keep learning, period.

* * *

He never stopped writing.

He never stopped coming up with new lessons to teach.

People never stopped learning these lessons.

Some small part of Ghostwriter took joy in the chaos his writings would sometimes cause, but it was a small fragment and he was trying to ignore it as much as possible. He didn't want that side to grow.

He'd learned a long time ago that chaos was never the answer.

It was one of the many lessons he tried to instill upon the ghosts and humans who crossed his path. His lessons ranged from miniscule (always listen) to monumental (choose kindness over hatred). Sometimes when he wrote he realized he was writing about a lesson he himself had yet to learn.

Whenever that happened, he always smiled, showing off his sharpened teeth to the world. He enjoyed learning. It meant he was still (sort of) human.


	6. There

A/N: Johnny's is a bit cliche...but eh, its what popped out.

Thanks again to everyone reading this and leaving positive comments!

* * *

**_Rules for Being Human_**

_Most ghosts were once human. The rules of humanity can still be applied._

**_6: There_**

_THERE is no better than HERE. When your THERE has become a HERE, you will simply obtain another THERE that will again look better than HERE._

Anywhere had looked better than that cursed little town.

Johnny had offered Kitty the chance to run away, and when she said yes, he knew they could go far.

So he'd handed her a helmet, hopped on his bike, and drove, drove as far and fast as possible before he needed to stop for gas. He kept going, trying to escape that small town in the West, trying to go…anywhere but there.

That town was not a place he wanted to be.

They drove, saw the sights, got sporadic jobs to pay for everything, and just kept going wherever the wind took them. Each place was better than the last.

Until Chicago.

Until that truck.

Until…_blackness._

_Then light._

_His bad luck finally caught up to him._

_Maybe home hadn't been such a bad place after all._

* * *

Dora had always wanted to see the sunlight. She always wanted to break free from the chains of her society.

Salvation came in the form of Danny Phantom.

And at first she enjoyed it, she really did. The sun shone on her kingdom and the weather returned to normal and her people were free, free to learn and invent and be whatever they wanted.

They caught up to technology. It revolutionized her kingdom.

Sure, they all still dressed in a similar way as a reminder of what once was, and they still kept the castle (after all, where would she imprison her brother if that was destroyed?). But as her world advanced she began to wonder what a real house was like. She wondered what normal clothes were like.

She wanted to go back to the human realm. She began to think it was better there.

Of course, her world had been introduced to modern expressions too, and the phrase "the grass is greener on the other side" did not escape her memory. No, Dora recognized what it meant, and she knew that the human realm was no better than what she had.

It didn't stop her from dreaming.


	7. Mirror

**_Rules for Being Human_**

_Most ghosts were once human. The rules of humanity can still be applied._

**_7: Mirror_**

_Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself._

She was beautiful. She'd loved it.

She had been kind and compassionate and respectful. She'd enjoyed it.

She'd been insulted. She'd hated it.

She'd been deceived by the man she trusted most. She despised it.

Desiree, over the years as a genie-like ghost, had discovered that she was alright with granting wishes for those who had only good intentions, and these wishes she would grant in the exact way the wisher desired. Beautiful girls' wishes she might twist, but never into anything bad – just enough to show that there was, in fact, more to oneself than beauty.

Those who cheated and lied and were insulting and untrustworthy – she took their wishes and twisted them into things so much uglier than intended and she didn't care. Why should she?

_She despised men for what they'd done to her…and for what she hadn't been able to do for herself._

* * *

He hates his younger self. _Seeing_ his younger self again, being put back in his shoes – it makes him remember what he hated about it.

_What he hated about himself._

The part of Dan that is still the heroic Phantom rationalizes that this is normal; he _was_ technically that once, and he still retrained some of those traits. The side that was Plasmius countered with the fact that he's technically a new being now, and the flaws (and perks) of Vladimir Masters and Daniel Fenton were gone, nonexistent, unimportant.

_He still hates it._

Being in the Thermos gives him plenty of time to think. (Really, _plenty_ of time; he doubts Clockwork is stupid enough to let him out too soon – or at all. Maybe in a hundred years when his family and younger self are dead and dust he'll get a chance to stretch his legs.) As he sits there, glaring at the cramped walls (when did he develop claustrophobia?), one thing keeps running through his mind.

_I hate what I was, and I hate what I become – what I am._

And it was true. He was still flawed, still had a bit of a damn heroic complex (letting Valerie live was the extent of it, really, but still), was still a pompous jerk with a dash of witty banter.

Looking into that mirror at his old face hadn't helped at all.


	8. Choices

**_Rules for Being Human_**

_Most ghosts were once human. The rules of humanity can still be applied._

**_8: Choices_**

_What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the resources and tools you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours._

The Box Ghost knew he never seemed evil, or scary, or even just a little bit spooky. It wasn't just because of his "useless" power over all things cardboard and square, though.

He had _chosen_ to be less malignant than the others, _chosen_ to keep his power at a minimum.

He could have been just as bad as some of the others, if he had wanted to.

Underestimation, though, did not always sit well with him.

He and the Lunch Lady had been happy. They'd managed to create a little daughter, and called her Box Lunch. His afterlife was looking up. He was nearing completion.

And then _he_ happened. The Lunch Lady – gone. Box Lunch – barely alive. The Box Ghost –

He'd put a patch over his bad eye and a hook where his hand used to be, began working out, allowed his powers to increase, and _chose_ to have vengeance in any way possible on that accursed creature known as Dan Phantom.

* * *

He could do anything.

Danny, two years after receiving his powers, still stared in awe at his hands when he lit them up with ghostly green light. Old dreams were crushed by these powers but new dreams – well, the possibilities were endless.

Well, almost. The road Vlad had taken – greed, corruption, power – he had vowed to never take that road. And so he wouldn't. He'd made sure of it.

Aside from that, though, he could be anything. He could become a world-famous superhero. He could experiment on himself and use the data for mind-blowing scientific cures and research.

_Whatever he wanted was within his grasp._

But he chose to remain in the shadows, as the misunderstood ghost hero of Amity Park.

Why?

…Because it was _right_.


	9. Answers

**_Rules for Being Human_**

_Most ghosts were once human. The rules of humanity can still be applied._

**_9: Answers_**

_Your answers lie inside you. The answers to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust._

Kitty wasn't very aggressive. That was Johnny's thing. She held onto her love for answers and peace from when she was still alive.

She had so many questions about what she was, what she could do. No one could answer them for her. She had to find out for herself. She realized that.

So she practiced, and experimented, and wondered and discovered and repeat. She freaked out when she blew her first teleporting kiss, was terrified when Johnny disappeared, and kept trying different methods of getting him back until 11 hours later – _almost too late to save him_ – she'd blown another kiss in frustration and gotten him back. She hadn't really trusted herself after that.

Eventually, Johnny got her out into the world, and it was amazing. She'd loved it, but the fact that she didn't quite blend in upset her slightly.

She asked why.

She figured…it didn't really matter. It was just one of her life's mysteries.

Maybe she'll find the answer eventually.

* * *

Danielle didn't know what she was anymore.

Overexertion left her melting, dissolving into a puddle of ectoplasmic goo – at least, in her ghost form. Her human form seemed much more…stable. (At least, for now.)

She didn't know what she was supposed to do. So she turned to Danny.

And she'd trusted Valerie at first even though she'd been captured but it was all just a lie but then she'd been saved and cured and, and it was all perfect now, wasn't it?

No, of course not. She didn't know where she was going. She didn't have all life's answers.

(Well, maybe she did. She wasn't too sure about that. _Wasn't too sure if she counted as a real human sometimes._)

She'd asked herself why this had happened.

She'd answered herself, _you're a freak, a mistake, that's why._

Her answer had finally changed to _because I'm special and this is my destiny._


	10. Forget

Yeesh, guys. Thanks so much for sticking with this little story of sorts. I'm glad you've all enjoyed, but unfortunately we've reached the end.

Ghosts I thought about but couldn't find a place for include Klemper, Lunch Lady, Lydia, Fright Knight, Pariah Dark, and Youngblood. Nocturne, Vortex, Undergrowth, and Wulf were also in the list but then I thought, 'meh, they probably weren't human, they don't really fit..." Ah well...there's always next time...

Big thanks to all the reviewers, including MsFrizzle, UltraRecycloVegetarian, koryandrs, PsychicEevee0103, i kissed danny and he liked it, and two guests! Thanks also to those who favorited, followed, and just took the time to read. This is for all of you guys!

* * *

**_Rules for Being Human_**

_Most ghosts were once human. The rules of humanity can still be applied._

**_10: Forget_**

_You will forget all this._

_~Anonymous_

Danny Fenton was not stupid. (His family consisted of genius ghost hunters; he must have inherited _some_ brains.) He could remember most things he learned.

Keyword: _most_.

He'd found the sheet of "rules for being human" that the Health class teacher had given out so fascinating, but he was somewhat disturbed by the last one. This was something he didn't want to forget.

_He had to cling to his humanity and never forget it and never let it go._

So he tried. He kept the list everywhere he possibly could: nailed above his bed, above the bathroom sink, on the refrigerator.

The last one still haunts him whenever he looks at the list.

Because if he forgets, then who would he be?

And on top of that, there is one thing he can _never, ever forget._

_His promise._

* * *

Clockwork knows everything. Clockwork has seen everything that has happened, everything happening now, and everything that will be.

He cannot forget. Sure, things get pushed around in his mind as the most important details – _Vlad exiling himself, Danny's almost-future, the third rise of Pariah Dark, humankind's rise to power, the creation of the very universe itself – _are forced to the front of his mind as things he should focus on, make sure are constant – or possibly change. But he never forgets anything. He can recall everything asked of him – though it might take him a few minutes if it's something he (and the Observants) deem insignificant.

He won't forget. Some things, though, he would _love_ to forget.

Maybe that counts for something.

He never was human. But it's nice to know that he's close enough.


End file.
